This is always a work in progress considering that every day somebody behaves badly on the subway so here are a few more useful tips. Feel free to add your own!
Dear Nervous Lady Sitting Next to Me,
You seem like a commuter but the fact that you are reading the tattered Panera Bread menu out loud leads me to believe that you either have a nervous disorder, you’re a tourist, or you’re out on a day pass. If you’re going to ride the entire way into the city could you at least move on to the soup section of the menu?
Dear Inexperienced and/or Otherwise Shitty Train Driver,
Not only has your ridiculous habit of slamming on the brakes in the middle of the tunnel caused some poor elderly woman to land in a pregnant woman’s lap but if you keep it up I’m going to puke in the cheap weave of the lady sitting in front of me! You should have been a cab driver!
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